Mother's Day takes on new meaning for moms who have lost a child

For most mothers, Sunday — Mother’s Day — will bring laughter, joy, appreciation.

For Ollie Curran, there are other emotions.

Blessed to have son Daniel in her life and sad to lose him at age 30.

“Forever 30,” she said. “I miss him every day. The day comes with high emotions but I have to go on for the rest of the family.”

Two weeks after her son Daniel died, Ollie Curran joined a mom's bereavement support group at Hope Hospice.

“I needed that help,” she said. “The pain was so grand I didn’t know what to do.”

Today, four years later, Curran runs the group.

She shares her faith. She shares with other mothers.

And she shares her emotions.

“I speak, I’m not afraid to acknowledge what happened,” she said. “I’m very open to sharing. This is a sense of serenity and knowing my grief is my own.

“There’s nothing like being a parent; and being with someone who knows where I am. … It’s the same pain. It’s a mother’s pain. It’s pain for dads, too, but it’s a different pain.”

Ollie calls it a group no one should ever have to be in but one mothers should be in if they’ve lost a son or daughter.

“And Hope Hospice is a such a great place to be, so warm,” she said.

Hope Hospice has provided a bereaved mother’s support group for the past 20 years, according to Samira Beckwith, president and CEO of Hope Healthcare.

Hope Hospice - Providing Exceptional Care and Support

In that time, she said thousands of mothers have been helped. Sons or daughters don’t have to be patients of Hope Hospice to take part in the group, she said. There’s no cost.

“Some join for a week, some for a year and some are like Ollie,” Beckwith said. “I think it becomes a support group, ongoing socialization. It gives them opportunities to spend time with people who have had the same experience.

“When bad things happens, it hurts. Being able to talk about the hurt is really important, to talk to others about what you’re going through.”

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Originally from Portugal, Ollie, 69, and husband Daniel, Jr. moved to Fort Myers Beach 43 years ago.

She owns her own salon – Hair Etc. by Ollie.

Daniel Curran III or DC3 by friends, is the one child Ollie and Daniel, Jr. had together.

He was an artist who graduated with honors from Valencia Community College and then Edison College in music production. He read the Bible regularly and had a daughter Nevaeh, which spelled backward is heaven.

“His heart was as big as Fort Myers,” she said.

At age 23, Daniel got addicted to prescription drugs. While teaching snowboarding in Colorado, he broke his arm and started taking painkillers.

He was clean for years but while attending a religious camp in Tennessee at age 29, Daniel’s neck was cut by a man. He almost died.

Daniel suffered from post traumatic stress disorder so doctors gave him prescription drugs.

Two months later, he died from an accidental overdose.

“He tried to hide it,” Ollie Curran said. “He hated it. After he came back from Tennessee, he said, ‘I’m not the same.’"

One of the things Curran has discovered within the support group was that many of the women also lost children to drug addiction.

“I have let Daniel be in heaven,” she said. “You always grieve. Sometimes, it comes so strong you don’t know what to do. You have to identify that grief so you know what to do with it. You breathe, you cry and you let grief go.”

Almost four years later, Curran said it gets easier with time but as counselor Lorrie McCann explained to her, there’s a chunk missing from her heart that never will be replaced.

“That’s why talking about it is very important,” Beckwith said. “Whenever we take something and internalize and don’t talk about our feelings, that’s never a good thing. This really helps people express themselves and sort out their feelings and move forward.”

Bereaved Mom’s Grief Support Group

When: Monday mornings from 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. except for major holidays
Where: Hope HealthPark Administrative Office:
9470 HealthPark Circle, Fort Myers, FL 33908

To attend: Call Lorrie McCann, LMHC,CT at 985-7716.